Sonic X Parody
by DarkVulture
Summary: This is a parody of Sonic X, and everything else in the Sonic Universe.
1. It's Party Time!

Page | 4

**SONIC Z**

Created: May 5, 2009 – Completed: May 9, 2009 (Revised: April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

This is a parody of the anime "Sonic X," so enjoy.

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 1

"It's Party Time!"

Sonic: (sleeping) Zzzzzzz…

Tails: SONIC!

Sonic: (opens one eye half-way) Huh, what do you want Tails?

Tails: Why haven't you been calling me lately? You know how lonely I get without you.

Sonic: (sighs and gets up) Tails… I know you've confessed your love to me 405,672 times, but this is the 405,673rd time. Please just move on to another lover.

Tails: (cries) You don't understand my feelings for you… I HATE YOU! [Runs away.]

Sonic: Fag…

_Tails wakes up from the dream…_

Tails: (wakes up) AAAAHHHH! [Looks around.] I'm not gay…

_At Sonic's house, Sonic is on the phone with Knuckles._

Sonic: Hey Knux, what's up?

Knuckles: Oh nothing much homie just watching me some B.E.T.

Sonic: (sighs) Knuckles, stop trying to act black.

Knuckles: I am black yo, you feel me?

Sonic: (face palm) Whatever, just tell me when the party's gonna be… (beep!) Oh, hold on. I have another call. (click) Talk to me.

Amy: Hey my Blueberry filling.

Sonic: Oh… I'm guessing I filled you up nicely, didn't I?

Amy: Hell yeah, it tasted wonderful.

Sonic: Well, call me anytime if you need any help with cakes.

Amy: All right, talk to you later Sonic.

Sonic: See ya. (click) I'm back.

Knuckles: Yo, yo, yo I came up with a new dance!

Sonic: (hangs up)

Charmy: So, when's the party?

Sonic: …Your mom.

_Tails arrives at Cream's house…_

Cream: Hey Tails!

Tails: Hi Cream and Cheese.

Cheese: Chao!

[Cream and Tails sit down on the couch while Cheese makes tea for them.]

Tails: So, how are you Cream?

Cream: I'm fine it's just Amy recently.

Cheese: [Appears in front of them with their tea.]

Tails: Thanks, Cheese. What's wrong with her? (sips tea)

Cream: She's on her period.

Tails: (spits tea out) The hell?! Did I really need to know that? No!

[Someone knocks on the door.]

Cream: Be there in a minute. (turns to Tails) You know YOU were the one who asked how she was doing!

Tails: I didn't mean LIKE THAT! Be more subtle with what you say!

Cream: (yelling) SUBTLE?! YOU'RE THE ONE YELLING!

Tails: (yells and stands up) YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S YELLING AT ME!

[Knocking gets even louder.]

Cream: (gets mad) I'LL BE F*CKING RIGHT THERE! HOLD THE F*CK ON, B*TCH!

[Door gets bashed in with a giant hammer.]

Amy: (evil look) Who called me a "b*tch"?!

[Cream and Tails turn into small chibis.]

Cream: (scared) Um… no one.

Tails: (wets himself) Holy sh*t! 0.0

Amy: [Waves the hammer towards Cream.] (evil voice) Don't lie to me!

Cream: (wets herself)

Amy: (sighs) Never mind, just… clean yourselves up.

Cream and Tails: Ok…

_On the phone… again._

Chris Thorndyke: Ok then, I'll see you at the party.

Espio: All right, I'll be there. [Ends call and continues walking.] (phone rings) Hello?

[Giggles and laughs in the background.]

Charmy: (disguises his voice) Do you want more action…

Espio: Hmm… I guess…

Charmy: (disguised voice) …in Bed?

Espio: What the f*ck?!

Vector: (clears his throat and disguises his voice) We are offering you a free penis pump. It's easy just put it on and pump away. You'll be satisfied and so well she when she sees your sea monster.

Espio: What the f*ck is this?!

Charmy and Vector: (laugh hard)

Espio: Charmy… Vector is that you?!

Charmy: (giggling) Call us at 1-800-… (snickers more) URPENIS (burst out laughing)

Espio: I'm gonna kill you two!

Vector: (hangs up) XD That was funny stuff, Charmy. Hahaha.

Espio: [Appears before them.] (evil glare)

Vector: Aww c'mon Espio we were just joking around. You don't have a small penis… do you?

Espio: (looks down) Damn you… Go-[Gets cut off.]

_Just a few minutes before the party starts…_

Knuckles: Hell yeah homie everyone's here. (gets the mic) What's up, everybody? Ready to get this sh*t started?!

[Everyone shouts out "Hell yeah."]

Knuckles: Let's get started. DJ spin that sh*t.

[Music starts bumping and beats loud.]

[Amy and Cream drinks booze.]

Amy: (hiccups) Hehehe this tastes so GOOD! (hiccups and is drunk)

Cream: Damn girl you're drunk that fast. (giggles)

Amy: (puts her arm around Cream's shoulder) Hell yeah, honey hehe. (drinks more)

Cream: (blushes and is drunk) (giggles)

Shadow: Bartender… give me another one. (burps)

Silver: Coming right up! [Gets the drinks, mixes them, shakes it then gives it to Shadow.]

Shadow: (drinks it) Ahhh… that's the stuff.

Sonic: Dude, Shadow check it out. Amy and Cream are making out!

Shadow: (jumps out of his seat) Oh hell yeah. Where?

Sonic: [Points to where they're making out.] See bro, told you.

[Amy and Cream are making out and touching one another.]

Tails: God d*mn, I have a mad boner right now.

Sonic: Hell yeah, too bad you'll never hit that. (laughs)

Tails: Aww, go f*ck yourself.

Sonic: Stop telling me what you're gonna do to yourself.

Tails: HATE YOU! [Runs away.]

Shadow: Fag…

Sonic: (chuckles) Such a virgin. [Looks at Blaze.] Holy sh*t! [Taps Shadow's shoulder.] Look at this!

Blaze: (drunk and strips on the dance floor) Who wants some of this p*ssy?

Silver: [Jumps over the counter.] Hell yeah, I want some.

[Omega is dancing doing "The Robot."]

Charmy: (laughs) Guys look at Omega.

Espio and Vector: Hahaha pretty ironic.

Espio: Oh watch me do "The Ninja."

Charmy and Vector: (looks at Espio) No.

[Tails walks up to the DJ.]

Tails: (quiet voice) DJ, can you play some Linkin Park for me.

Eggman: What?!

Tails: I said can you play some Linkin Park.

Eggman: …What?!

Tails: (yelling) I SAID PLAY SOME LINKIN PARK, FATA*S!

[Music stops and everyone is staring at Tails.]

Tails: (scared) Um… hi… (nervously laughs)

Everyone: (yelling) GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE. EAT A D*CK, TAILS!

Eggman: (stands over Tails) Don't you ever in your life holla at me, or I'll pop the trunk in your ass.

Tails: God d*mmit. [Goes to corner and cries.]

_The party is over._

Knuckles: Thanks everyone for coming.

Chris: (pats Knuckles' shoulder) Great party man. [Leaves.]

[Sonic comes out with Amy in his arms.]

Knuckles: You enjoyed yourself, homie.

Sonic: (smiles) F*ck yeah and now I'm going for the second round, if you know what I mean.

Knuckles: Hey, we didn't do it two out of three. I'll beat you in the second round of Battle Toads.

Sonic: Keep dreaming, later. [Leaves with Amy.]

[Silver comes out.]

Silver: God d*mn, my BJ was off the chain.

Knuckles: You don't even have a chain; have a good evening.

[Everyone else leaves.]

TIME FOR "SONIC SEZ!"

Sonic: Hello! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! I'm here to tell you kids to NOT be like Tails. Don't be the crybaby virgin that never get none.

[From background.] F*CK YOU, SONIC!

Sonic: Sorry, I'm not gay like you.

Tails: God d*mn You!

Sonic: That's all kids and don't do drugs.


	2. The L0Ling Episode

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**Sonic Z**

Created: May 11, 2009 – Completed: June 29, 2009 (Revised: April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 2

"The LOLing Episode"

_Big the Cat is walking down the street listening to "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani._

Big: I still don't know what a "Hollaback Girl" is.

Inuyasha: Maybe because it's YOUR MOM.

Big: What the… where'd YOU COME FROM?!

Inuyasha: That's not what _she _said. [Runs away.]

Big: [Stands confused without motion]

Knuckles: What up, big gangsta? [Pats Big's shoulder roughly.]

Big: Umm… nothing much. By the way, what's a "Hollaback Girl"?

Knuckles: (shrugs) I don't know, but hey have you been getting some lately. [Moves eyebrows up and down.]

Big: (laughs) Yeah, I got some from Amy and Cream.

Knuckles: Oh hell yeah! How does it taste?

Big: [Rubs stomach.] Mighty damn tasty. (licks lips) I want some more of their cakes.

Knuckles: I know right, they even made some at the party, why didn't you come?

Big: (gets nervous) Umm… to be honest I was masturbating… eww sorry…

Tails: (yelling) Virgin!

Big: (yelling) Well at least I'm not gay!

Tails: (yelling) SCREW YOU!

Big: Yeah, I already know that I screwed your mom last night.

Tails: [Pimp-slaps Big.] B*tch, don't talk about MY MOMMA! [Pimp-slaps him again.] What's my name, b*tch!?

Big: (scared and crying) Daddy stop!

Tails: Shut up, b*tch! [Slaps him again.]

Knuckles: Holy Tikal! Tails you got mad props, homie. [Gives him dap.]

Tails: [Holds his Pimp cane.] Thanks, brah.

Knuckles: So… (snickers) hahaha you're a Pimp… for gay dudes. (laughs loudly)

Tails: [Stares at Knuckles and Pimp-slaps him.]

Knuckles: [Falls to ground.] (sniff) I'm sorry, daddy. Please DON'T HURT ME!

Tails: (chuckles) Shut up, b*tch. [Slaps both of them.]

_Sonic and Amy are in a flower field._

Amy: (sniffs flower) Mmm… isn't this pretty, Sonic?

Sonic: Hell no, as a matter a fact this is really gay. [Falls asleep.]

Amy: (gets mad) Ugh! (thinks) Hmm… I got something for you. (laughs evilly)

_Sonic wakes up in an Alien Spaceship._

Sonic: (wakes up) Hmm… what the… [Is tied face-down to a table.] Where am I?

Alien #1: He's awake #2.

Alien #2: Excellent. Let the anal probing begin.

[A big machine is slowly turning to Sonic's behind.]

Sonic: (struggles to get free) Oh hell no, you're not gonna stick that in my ass!

[Alien #1 presses a button and a dildo comes out of the machine and is slowly twisting around.]

Sonic: (struggles) You guys are really f*cked up you know that!

[Alien #1&2 smiles as the dildo enters Sonic's rectum.]

Sonic: (screams in pain) GOD! F*CK! B*TCH! A*SHOLES THAT SH*T F*CKING HURTS, DAMMIT!

_At the flower field…_

Amy: (evil laugh) Heheheh I can't wait to see the expression on his face once he knows I buried him.

Rouge: (laughs) Yeah, I know right. Girl, you are putting your man in check.

Amy: [Looks around.] Where is he?!

[Rouge checks the spot where Sonic was sleeping and a black spot is left behind.]

Rouge: (smiles) Looks like he's been abducted.

Amy: You mean…

Rouge: Yeah.

Amy & Rouge: Anal rape for Sonic. (laughs loudly)

_Back at the spaceship…_

Sonic: Ugh! Amy, is that you? This is not funny.

Alien #2: Amy? Who's that? I'm #2.

Alien #1: And I'm #1.

Sonic: What the f*ck?! Y'all… really are aliens?!

Alien #1&2: (nods)

Sonic: (screams) AHHHHH!

[Sonic is dropped off in the middle of the woods and the spaceship disappears.]

Sonic: Ugh! (rubs butt) God d*mn my ass hurts.

Shadow: What are you doing here, Sonic?

Sonic: Shadow… I was just…

Shadow: (interrupts) Never mind, I don't want to hear your life's story. Why the hell are you rubbing your ass? And where is Maria?

Sonic: For one, I got anal raped; second, I don't know.

Shadow: Number 1, that's really gay and number 2, b*tch best be getting my money.

Sonic: Oh God no… you're a pimp too?

Shadow: Better f*cking believe it.

[Naruto comes out of nowhere and chokes Shadow.]

Shadow: (choking) Uh! What the f*ck is this!

Naruto: You copied my catch phrase, believe it!

Sonic: I thought it was "dattebayo!"

Naruto: (looks at Sonic) Don't make me kill you too.

Sonic: (scared) Umm… ok. 0.o [Backs away slowly then runs.]

Shadow: (struggling) Sonic you p*ssy get back here!

Naruto: Your ass is MINE!

Shadow: (screams) AHHHHHHH!

Chris Crocker: LEAVE SHADOW ALONE! [Gets shot, falls to the ground, and dies.]

Shadow: [Puts gun away.] (sigh) God I hate him. [Hears screaming.] Oh God NO!

Fred: (high-pitch voice) HEY, IT'S FRED!

Naruto: [Points kunai to his neck.]

Shadow: [Points gun to his head.]

_Wherever Tails is at…_

Tails: [Pimp-slaps Cream.] B*tch, where's my money?

Cream: (cries) I'm sorry Candy-Daddy Tails, but nobody has been wanting this p*ssy lately.

Tails: B*tch, no excuses! [Pimp-slaps her again.]

Cream: [Falls down and shoots Tails.] Take that, B*TCH!

Tails: [Falls down and starts crawling.] Help! Pimp down! Pimp in distress! Oh sh*t I got blood in my perm.

Cream: (shakes head) Pathetic… [Walks away.]

Tails: Damn You! (holds sides and sees Alien #1&2) Who the hell are you?

Alien #1&2: (smiles)

Tails: Oh no! 0.o (screams)

[Sonic hears screaming.]

Sonic: (ear twitch) Was that Tails… (hears more screaming)

Tails: Please help! This is Tails asking for help!

Sonic: Nope, definitely not Tails.

Tails: Ugh! This dildo really hurts in my fox's rectum!

Sonic: Yep, that definitely wasn't Tails saying that.

Tails: SONIC, JUST GET YOU'RE ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME!

Sonic: What the f*ck?! I must be tripping. Now I'm hearing things.

Tails: (screams in pain) GOD D*MMIT, F*CK! YOU GUYS ARE F*CKING A*SHOLES!

Alien #1&2: Let's go. [Leaves.]

Tails: Damn, that fricken hurts.

Ashton Kutcher: Ha! You Have Been Punk'd!

Tails: Wha…?!

_At Ashton Kutcher's Studio…_

Ashton Kutcher: Man that was a funny prank we did. I got two of our people in our crew to put on these alien suits and anal rape people with dildos like: Sonic the Hedgehog, which screamed like a b*tch, and Tails, the expression on his face was priceless after I told him "He's been punk'd!"

Tails: [Bangs on the door.] OPEN THIS GOD D*MN DOOR, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Ashton Kutcher: Go masturbate or something you virgin fox!

Tails: [Breaks down door.] (evil stare)

Ashton Kutcher: Oh sh*t, I gotta go! I'm Ashton Kutcher see ya next time!


	3. Back to School

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**SONIC Z**

Created: August 3, 2009 – Completed: September 23, 2010 (Revised: April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 3

"Back to School"

_Cream is going door-to-door selling Girl Scout cookies._

Cream: [Knocks on the door and someone opens it.] Excuse me, mister, I'm selling some…

Silver: (interrupts) CRACK?! IS IT CRACK?! I NEED TO GET MY PSYCHO-CHO-NESIS-SIS BACK!

Cream: [Goes to the next door and knocks.] Excuse me, but I'm selling…

Shadow: If it's those Girl Scout cookies then… [Takes out a machine gun.] my "little friend" will answer your question for me.

Cream: [Backs away slowly and knocks on the next door.] I'm selling Girl Scout cookies, do you wanna buy some?

Metal Sonic: (silent) …

Cream: Um… hello?

Metal Sonic: (still silent) …

Cream: (a little frustrated) Do you wanna buy my cookies?

Metal Sonic: …Are you f*cking stupid? I'm a God d*mn robot. What the f*ck am I gonna do with cookies? [Slams door in front of her face.]

Cream: God d*mmit… [Throws her hat down.] GOD D*MMIT!

_Eggman hacked into every computer, television, and makes his speech._

Eggman: OOH! HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO!

Sonic: It's Eggman, what does he want now?

Eggman: This is…

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles: (interrupts) "Dr. Eggman here to take over the world and enslave you all." God, you know Eggman this is REALLY old…

Eggman: …to force Sonic and every one of his friends to school! (laughs)

E-102 Gamma: That's really gay, sir.

Eggman: Shut up and keep rubbing my nipples.

E-102 Gamma: [Accidently bumps into computer desk which turns on webcam.]

Amy: (puts hand over mouth) Oh my f*cking God, that's so gross.

Eggman: Oh yes, Gamma massage them more.

Knuckles: OH MY GOD! IT'S A BEACHED WHALE!

Tails: (throws up)

Eggman: What the f*ck is this on?!

Everyone: 0_o

_The next day, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy wait for their bus…_

Homeless Guy: (stuttering) N-Never g-gonna s-s-steal free TVs… again…

Tails: I'm guessing he saw it too?

Sonic: That sick son-of-a-b*tch… I hate Eggman…

Knuckles: Same here, homie dawg.

Amy (face palm)

[A car full of Pimps and Hoes pull up before them playing "Kiss me thru the phone" by Soulja Boy.]

Pimp Leader: Tails, why aren't you pimpin' with us anymore?

Tails: For one, I got shot. Second, SOULJA BOY F*CKING SUCKS!

Assistant Pimp: Soulja Boy is the sh*t, you better recognize… player.

Pimp Leader: Whatever, we out. B*tch drive us to the next strip club. There's a b*tch that owns me money. [Drives off.]

Tails: (sighs) I hope no one plays Soulja Boy's music again…

[Bus pulls up in front of them and plays Soulja Boy's "Turn My Swag On."]

Robot: Get in peasants.

Tails: (sighs again) I spoke too soon.

_At School…_

Red Robot: OK class, I will be teaching you about how to do Proofs. What you do first is…

Sonic: God this is so boring…

[From across the room.]

Vector: (whispers to Espio) I know a game we can all play to entertain ourselves.

Espio: (whispers) What is it?

Vector: (whispers quietly) penis…

Espio: Huh? Oh! (whispers a little louder) penis…

Charmy: (whispers) penis…

Shadow: (whispers) penis…

Amy: (whispers louder) Penis…

Knuckles: Penis...

Tails: PENIS! [Stands up.]

Red Robot: …Since you like penis so much, Tails, you're staying after class for a special "sucking" lesson.

Tails: Oh God…

_After Class…_

Tails: [Runs out the door.] I'M NOT SUCKING THAT! I'M NOT GAY!

Red Robot: (Yelling) YOU BETTER COME BACK HERE AND FINISH!

Tails: NOT EVEN IF I WAS STRAIGHT…I MEAN GAY! [Bumps into someone and falls down.]

Black guy named Tyrone: [Checking Tails out.] Mmm…you gotta pretty mouth, fox boy. (grinning)

Tails: NO!

_Thirty-five painful minutes later…_

Tails: (throwing up in the toilet)

Silver: How big was that black guy's d*ck again…0_0 and how far did you say you had to deep-throat that?!

_During Lunch…_

Amy: I know right. Sonic was like yeah and I was like no. Then my mom was like eww and I was like not really.

[From across the cafeteria.]

Knuckles: I wonder what those females are talking about, yo.

Sonic: I really don't care…by the way do we really have to eat this sh*t? It looks like donkey ass!

Shadow: I'm really into Maria…the chick with the blonde hair.

Knuckles: Go over there and holla at her, player. Be macking on her dawg.

Shadow: I don't know if she likes me…and stop trying so damn hard to be black!

Knuckles: …Don't hate the player…hate the game, homie. [Leaves.]

Shadow: …How the f*ck did he get that way anyway?

Sonic: …B.E.T.

Shadow: …That's sad.

Charmy: FOOD FIGHT!

[Charmy throws food at Shadow and hits him.]

Shadow: (gets pissed off) AH! [Grabs Charmy.] You…dirty…stuck-up…sadistic…sh*t eating, c*ck sucking, butt f*cking, penis smelling, crotch grabbing, ball licking, semen drinking, dog raping, Nazi loving, child touching, cow humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, d*ckless, testicle choking, urine gargling, jerk-offing, horse faced, sheep fondling, toilet kissing, self-centered, feces puking, dildo shoving, snot spitting, crap gathering, big nosed, monkey slapping, bastard screwing, bean shedding, fart knocking, sap busting, spluge tasting, bear blowing, head swallowing, b*tch snatching, hand jabbing, donkey caressing, mucus spewing, anus plugging, hoe grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer sipping, whore mongering, piss swimming, midget munching, douche bag, hoe biting, carnivorous, manhandling, prostituting A*SHOLE!

Charmy: I-I d-didn't mean it... (scared sh*tless)

Shadow: I JUST GOT MY CHEST HAIR WASHED YESTERDAY…YOU'RE DEAD!

Charmy: AHH! [Gets the sh*t beat outta him.]

Everyone in the cafeteria: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

[Security comes in and tries to get Shadow off Charmy then eventually tazes and tranquilizes him.]

_P.E. Class…_

Yellow Robot: Dodge ball!

[Everyone from opposite sides grabs a ball and starts throwing them.]

Sonic: This is easy. (dodging) Huh? Why are you hiding behind me, Tails? If you wanna hide behind someone to avoid getting hit by the dodge ball, use Shadow as a shield. He's basically dead from that elephant tranquilizer they ejected in him.

Tails: No! I'm hiding from Tyrone! My fox ass can't take his large c*ck no MORE! [Disappears.]

Sonic: Say what?! [Gets hit by a ball and falls on back.]

Espio: Oh hell yeah! [Teabags Sonic.] How do you like these ninja balls in your face?!

Sonic: AH! Yuck! TOO F*CKING SALTY!

_At the end of school…_

Eggman: (on the announcements) Thank you for attending my school, Sonic and friends! And I would like to address that all of y'all LOST THE GAME! (laughs)

Everyone in school: GOD D*MMIT EGGMAN!

Eggman: GOTTA GO! [Runs.]

Everyone: GET YOU'RE ASS BACK HERE!

**EMERGENCE MESSAGE COMING THROUGH!**

Tails: Hello! This is Tails! [Looks around.] This is a warning message to everyone who will encounter a black man. [Looks around more.] If he looks at you funny, RUN! That goes for dudes too, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! YOU'LL GET ANAL RAPED AND HAVE TO DEEP-THROAT THEIR GIGATIC D*CKS!

Tyrone: Finally found you. I need to get topped-off now, b*tch. (grinning)

Red Robot: AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED WITH ME!

Tails: God d*mmit! I gotta go- [End of message.]


	4. Get a Job!

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**SONIC Z**

Created: November 29, 2011 – Completed: January 26, 2012 (April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 4

"Get a Job!"

_Amy is in her desperate search for Sonic…_

Amy: SONIC! WHERE ARE YOU?! (sighs)

Shadow: [Runs by and stops.] MARIA!

Amy: SONIC! (glomps)

Shadow: Get the hell off me, Amy!

Amy: I'm not letting you go, Sonic!

Shadow: Are you f*cking color-blind? I'm Shadow!

Amy: Oops, sorry… [Stops hugging Shadow.]

Shadow: You do this every f*cking time you see me. Do you wear glasses at all?!

Amy: I kinda broke them… hehehe.

Shadow: (face palm) Whatever, anyway have you seen Maria?

Amy: You need to put that woman on a leash.

Shadow: That's what I plan on doing, now where is she?!

Amy: Ok, Ok damn. The last time I saw her was at Tails' workshop.

Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL! NEXT STOP TAILS' WORKSHOP! [Vanishes.]

Amy: Well… time for me to resume my search for Sonic.

Silver: [Walks by.]

Amy: SONIC!

Silver: GOD D*MMIT AMY!

_Meanwhile, at Tails' Workshop…_

Tails: (sighs) I hate it when I have slow days like this. [Rubs mouth and throat.] Damn… they still hurt from last time.

Rouge: [Walks in.] Hey Tails, I was wondering what types of "toys" do you sale here?

Tails: I don't sale that here, Rouge are you serious?

Rouge: I really need something that'll give me a ride of my life, know what I mean? (winks)

Tails: Go to a different shop!

Rouge: Well… how about that thrusting machine over there? (points at it)

Tails: (turns around) That's not a "thrusting machine." It's a jet… [Faces foreword and sees Rouge running away with it.] …engine. GET BACK HERE!

Rouge: I'll bring it back when I'm done!

Tails: What the f*ck! Gross!

Shadow: [Chaos Controls into Tails' Workshop destroying everything.]

Tails: You a*shole! You destroyed my shop!

Shadow: Where's Maria?

Tails: (pissed off) AHHHHHHH!

_Hours later…_

Tails: Say what?!

Insurance Company: We didn't even say anything yet, sir.

Tails: Oh, what were you about to say?

Insurance Company: Sorry, but your shop is not covered by any Insurance Company, sir.

Tails: SAY WHAT?!

Insurance Company: Are you deaf, sir? Anyway, we cannot help you. [Leaves.]

Tails: Damn you, Shadow!

Shadow: Not my problem.

Tails: Ugh! What am I going to do for work now?

Gingerbread man: Try out for an AD Commercial.

Tails: Yeah! I'll do just tha-wait. Who are you?!

Gingerbread man: You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread man! [Runs away.]

Tails: Like hell I can't! Get your ass back here! [Chases him.]

_The Next Day…_

Director: Ready… ACTION!

Tails: Can GEICO save you 15% or more on Car Insurance? …What are you a sheep-man?

[Transitions to a sheep-man.]

Sheep-man: …I f*ck sheep…

Director: CUT! CUT! I'm sorry, but you literally f*cked this up big time.

Tails: Haha, sucks to be you!

Director: I was referring to you Mr. Prower!

Tails: What?!

Director: You're cut!

Tails: [Walks away in shame.]

Sheep-man: Maybe if you f*cked sheep you would've not been cut. (creepy smile)

Tails: (shakes head) What a sick-f*ck. [Exits the building and sits on the curb.] Now what?

Gingerbread man: Try to make a viral video.

Tails: That's a good idea-what a minute! [Chases him.]

Gingerbread man: Can't touch this motherf*cker!

_Later on that day…_

Tails: Are you sure this will work, Knuckles?

Knuckles: Fo' sho, my homie. Just hold that big rock tight, so I can hit it. [Starts the recording.]

Tails: Ok, Knuckles.

Knuckles: [Cracks his knuckles and backs up; putting his dukes up.]

Tails: [Holds the rock tightly, closing his eyes.]

Knuckles: [Charges up to Tails and kicks him in the balls.]

Tails: [Drops the rock on his foot, falls backwards holding his package while screaming in pain.] AAAAHHHHHH! F*CK ME!

Sonic: [Laugh his ass off.] Hahaha!

Knuckles: (teary-eyed) Haha, day-um that sh*t turned out funnier than we originally planned, Sonic. (laughing) My ribs are done, haha.

Sonic: You're telling me. (continues laughing)

Tails: F*ck you, douchebag a*sholes! [Still cupping balls.]

Sonic: Knux upload that to YouTube. (chuckling)

Knuckles: You already know, homie. [Uploading the video.]

_Hours later…_

Sonic: Holy Chaos Emeralds! Look Knuckles!

Knuckles: Our video got millions of views, got featured in RayWilliamJohnson's video, and even the news!

Sonic: Hell yeah! We in the money, Knux!

Tails: [Ice on his package.] Where's my cut?

Knuckles: Your cut? Shut up. The video belongs to Sonic and I. You don't own sh*t!

Tails: I… seriously… hate you guys. [Kicks the door open and leaves.]

Knuckles: Don't be kicking my God d*man door, nig-

Tails: [Walking aimlessly.] What other occupations should I apply to, to get my source of income? [Looks around.] Hmmm… Ok nothing.

Gingerbread man: Be part of the reality show "Shore… Jersey" or something like that.

Tails: That's IT! [Throws the icepack at him.]

Gingerbread man: [Dodges the icepack and kicks him in the balls.] Hehehe! [Disappears.]

Tails: You son-of-a-b*tch! [On knees; cupping balls.] Ugh! Maybe that reality show will get me lots of money… and poon too.

_On the set…_

Tails: Hey, I'm new to the Shore cast.

The Situation: Make sure you show your abs then you good.

Tails: Ok?

The Situation: Leggo baby! YEAH!

Tails: This guy is really obnoxious.

Vinny: He really is.

Tails: [Sees Snooki.] Holy crap, finally someone as tall as I am.

Snooki: Oh my God, it's a fox! That fox will eat me!

Tails: Wait! I'm harmless.

Snooki: [Gets knocked the f*ck out by a random punch.]

Entire cast: Ooooo Snooki, damn again?!

Tails: What the f*ck?!

JWoww: Look at my perfect boobies!

Tails: Ummm… ok?

Pauly D: 'Sup, I'm Pauly D.

Tails: Stop it!

The Situation: Booze for everyone… on Vinny's tab.

Vinny: You motherf*cker!

[Tails exits the place.]

Tails: Enough of this nonsense! I know what job I want to do now!

_On the set… again._

Boss: Just read the teleprompter to the camera aloud in a clear voice so everyone can hear.

Tails: Alright. [Recording starts.] That was weather now- ummm… there's nothing there.

The Other Guy: What you talking about? It's on.

Tails: But there's no words… still no words. Whatever… [Starts again.] That was news back to- (whispers) F*cking sh*t.

The Other Guy: What's wrong?

Tails: (irritated) Let's do it live… LET'S DO IT LIVE, FUCK IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! [Starts live.] That was weather now take it away, John. F*cking thing sucks!

Boss: You're fired! Get your sh*t and get the f*ck out!

Tails: GOD-D*MMIT!

_At the entrance of a bank…_

Tails: I can't take it no more! I'm doing it. [Puts ski-mask on and goes in guns blazin'.] Get the f*ck on the floor and hand me the money!

[Pedestrians get on the ground.]

Tails: [Points gun at one of the female co-workers.] Put the money in the sack! Hurry up!

Female worker: [Ducks under the desk.]

Tails: What the f*ck?! [Gets kicked in the balls… again.] FFFF****CCCCKKKK!

Gingerbread man: [Snatches Tails' gun.] Do you know whose bank you trying to rob?

Tails: What the-ah! Yours?! [On the ground; cupping balls.]

Gingerbread man: You're gonna feel right at home in the big house. (grins)

Tails: (gulps) Oh no!

_At prison in the shower room…_

Tails: Don't drop the soap, don't drop the soap, DON'T DROP THE SOAP! [Drops it.] God no…

Tyrone: You better pick that up and finish washing, nig-

Tails: [Cries while picking it up.]

Tyrone: [Pounds it hard in Tails while he screams "Bloody Murder."]


	5. Filler: It's Party Time! Ebonics Version

Page | **4**

SONIC Z

Created: May 5, 2009 – Completed: May 9, 2009 (Revised: November 30, 2011)

(Ebonics Version: April 3, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

This is a parody of the anime "Sonic X," so enjoy.

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 1

"It's Party Time!" ***Ebonics Version***

Sonic: (sleeping) Zzzzzzz…

Tails: SONIC!

Sonic: (opens one eye half-way) Huh, what do you wants Tails?

Tails: Why haven't you been calling me lately? You know how lonely ah git without you.

Sonic: (sighs an' gets up) Tails… ah know you've confessed yo' love ta me 405,672 times, but dis here iz da 405,673rd tyme. Please just move on ta another lover.

Tails: (cries) You don't dig' muh motha f*ckin feelings fo' you… ah mah f*ckin hate YOU! [Runs away.] Sonic: salad tosser…

_Tails wakes up from da dream…_

Tails: (wakes up) AAAAHHHH! [Looks around.] ah'm not salad tosser…

_At Sonic's crib, Sonic iz on da phone wif Knuckles_.

Sonic: werd up Knux, what's up?

Knuckles: awww nuttin' much homie just watching me some B.E.T.

Sonic: (sighs) Knuckles, stop trying ta act black.

Knuckles: ah be black yo, you feel me?

Sonic: (face palm) Whatever, just tell me when da party's gonna be… (beep!) awww, hold on. ah gots another page. (click) jive ta me.

Amy: werd up muh motha f*ckin Blueberry filling.

Sonic: awww… ah'm guessing ah filled you up nicely, didn't ah?

Amy: Hell yeah, it tasted fly.

Sonic: Well, page me anytime if you need any he`p wif cakes.

Amy: All right, jive ta you later Sonic.

Sonic: See ya. (click) ah'm back.

Knuckles: Yo, yo, yo ah came up wif uh new get5 jiggy wit i!

Sonic: (hangs up)

Charmy: So, when's da party?

Sonic: …yo' mom.

_Tails arrives at Cream's crib…_

Cream: werd up Tails!

Tails: yo Cream an' Cheese.

Cheese: Chao!

[Cream an' Tails sit down on da couch while Cheese makes tea fo' dem.]

Tails: So, how is you Cream?

Cream: ah'm fine it's just Amy recently.

Cheese: [Appears in front o' dem wif they tea.]

Tails: Thanks, Cheese. What's wrong wif her? (sips tea)

Cream: She's on her period.

Tails: (spits tea out) da hell?! Did ah really need ta know dat? nahh! [Someone knocks on da do'.]

Cream: Be dere in uh minute. (turns ta Tails) You know YOU wuz da one who asked how she wuz doin'!

Tails: ah didn't mean LIKE dat! Be mo' subtle wif what you say!

Cream: (yelling) SUBTLE?! YOU'RE da ONE YELLING!

Tails: (yells an' stands up) YOU'RE da ONE WHO'S YELLING AT ME! [Knocking gets even louder.]

Cream: (gets mad) ah'LL BE F*CKING RIGHT dere! HOLD da F*CK ON, B*TCH!

[do' gets bashed in wif uh giant hammer.]

Amy: (evil peep) Who called me uh "b*tch"?!

[Cream an' Tails turn into small chibis.]

Cream: (scared) Um… nahh one.

Tails: (wets himself) Holy sh*t! 0.0

Amy: [Waves da hammer towards Cream.] (evil voice) Don't lie ta me!

Cream: (wets herself)

Amy: (sighs) Never mind, just… clean yourselves up.

Cream an' Tails: otay…

_On da phone… ag'in._

Chris Thorndyke: otay then, ah'll see you at da party.

Espio: All right, ah'll be dere. [Ends page an' continues walking.] (phone rings) yo?

[Giggles an' laughs in da background.]

Charmy: (disguises his voice) Do you wants mo' action…

Espio: Hmm… ah guess…

Charmy: (disguised voice) …in Bed?

Espio: What da f*ck?!

Vector: (clears his throat an' disguises his voice) we's is offering you uh free dong pump. It's easy just put it on an' pump away. You'll be satisfied an' so well she when she sees yo' sea monster.

Espio: What da f*ck iz dis here?!

Charmy an' Vector: (laugh hard)

Espio: Charmy… Vector iz dat you?!

Charmy: (giggling) page us at 1-800-… (snickers mo') URPENIS (burst out laughing)

Espio: ah'm gonna kill you two!

Vector: (hangs up) XD dat wuz funny sheeit, Charmy. Hahaha.

Espio: [Appears 'bfoe dem.] (evil glare)

Vector: Aww c'mon Espio we's wuz just joking around. You don't gots uh small dong… do you?

Espio: (looks down) Damn you… Go-[Gets cut off.]

_Just uh few minutes 'bfoe da party starts…_

Knuckles: Hell yeah homie brothas's here. (gets da mic) What's up, everybody? Ready ta git dis here sh*t started?!

[brothas shouts out "Hell yeah."]

Knuckles: Let's git started. DJ spin dat sh*t. [rap starts bumping an' beats loud.]

[Amy an' Cream drinks booze.]

Amy: (hiccups) Hehehe dis here tastes so pimp-tight! (hiccups an' iz f*cked-up)

Cream: Damn beotch you're fucked-up dat fast. (giggles)

Amy: (puts her arm around Cream's shoulder) Hell yeah, honey hehe. (drinks mo')

Cream: (blushes an' iz f*cked-up) (giggles)

Shadow: Bartender… give me another one. (burps)

Silver: Coming right up! [Gets da drinks, mixes dem, shakes it then gives it ta Shadow.]

Shadow: (drinks it) Ahhh… dat's da sheeit.

Sonic: n*gga, Shadow check it out. Amy an' Cream is making out!

Shadow: (jumps out o' his seat) awww hell yeah. Where?

Sonic: [Points ta where dey're making out.] See bro, told you.

[Amy an' Cream is making out an' touching one another.]

Tails: God d*mn, ah gots uh mad boner right now.

Sonic: Hell yeah, too bad you'll never hit dat. (laughs)

Tails: Aww, go f*ck yo'self.

Sonic: Stop telling me what you're gonna do ta yo'self.

Tails: mah f*ckin hate YOU! [Runs away.]

Shadow: salad tosser…

Sonic: (chuckles) Such uh virgin. [Looks at Blaze.] Holy sh*t! [Taps Shadow's shoulder.] peep at dis here!

Blaze: (fucked-up an' strips on da get5 jiggy wit i floor) Who wants some o' dis here p*ssy?

Silver: [Jumps ova da counter.] Hell yeah, ah wants some.

[Omega iz dancing doin' "da Robot."]

Charmy: (laughs) pimpz peep at Omega.

Espio an' Vector: Hahaha fine a*s ironic.

Espio: awww watch me do "da Ninja."

Charmy an' Vector: (looks at Espio) nahh.

[Tails walks up ta da DJ.]

Tails: (quiet voice) DJ, can you play some Linkin Park fo' me.

Eggman: What?!

Tails: ah said can you play some Linkin Park.

Eggman: …What?!

Tails: (yelling) ah SAID PLAY SOME LINKIN PARK, FATA*S!

[rap stops an' brothas iz staring at Tails.]

Tails: (scared) Um… yo… (nervously laughs)

brothas: (yelling) git da F*CK OUTTA HERE. EAT uh D*CK, TAILS!

Eggman: (stands ova Tails) Don't you ever in yo' life holla at me, or ah'll pop da trunk in you're a*s.

Tails: God d*mmit. [Goes ta corner an' cries.]

_Da party iz ova._

Knuckles: Thanks brothas fo' coming.

Chris: (pats Knuckles' shoulder) Great party n*gga. [Leaves.]

[Sonic comes out wif Amy in his arms.]

Knuckles: You enjoyed yo'self, homie.

Sonic: (smiles) F*ck yeah an' now ah'm going fo' da second round, if you know what ah mean.

Knuckles: werd up, we's didn't do it two out o' three. ah'll beat you in da second round o' Battle Toads.

Sonic: Keep dreaming, later. [Leaves wif Amy.]

[Silver comes out.]

Silver: God d*mn, muh motha f*ckin B.J. wuz off da chain.

Knuckles: You don't even gots uh chain; gots uh wassup?.

[brothas else leaves.]

TYME FO' "SONIC SEZ!"

Sonic: yo! ah'm Sonic da Hedgehog! ah'm here ta tell you kids ta NOT be like Tails. Don't be da crybaby virgin dat never git none. [From background.] F*CK YOU, SONIC!

Sonic: Sorry, ah'm not salad tosser like you.

Tails: God d*mn You!

Sonic: dat's all kids an' don't do chronic just like mammy.


End file.
